Reason for change

My 2012 resolution was to eliminate all the obstacles that obstructed my path to happiness, as far as I can remember, and I did it. It took me most of the year to carry it out, but finally I did it.
And so my 2013 resolution is to be happy, and to live the life I have constructed for myself. And I must admit I love it. I've never, ever felt so integrated (except when I was a little girl) with the world.
I've realized I am more myself now than ever. When I was ten years old I changed. From then to my late fifteens I was insecure and shy, angry with the world, bitter, not who I am. I realized I was being nothing like myself after the summer, more specifically when I came back from the cruise my grandma won and that my stepfather and me enjoyed. I lived so many amazing things it was life changing.
I met nameless him. Who is he? He's a boy I fell in love with. Noticed I've said fell in love. Why? I had never, EVER felt something so strong for anyone, absolutely no one, and in such a short time. In not more than eight days he made me love him madly, so madly I thought I was losing my sanity when it all ended and I had to come back. Ugh, coming back was heartbreaking. When we were on the bus to go to Barcelona's Airport I could feel the tightest knot I've ever felt in my throat and stomach. My eyes burnt, because I wanted to cry so badly. I just wanted to be left alone to cry, but it was a different kind of sadness. I didn't feel hopeless or misunderstood, like I had felt so often up to that moment. I felt stronger than ever, I realized I had gotten my light back, I was myself again after so many years. I had a purpose then: to be like myself again, the incredible girl I was always told to be and that I had lost somewhere along the way. I found myself again in that ship, and that is something I will never forget.
Recently I removed all of the posters from the walls of my room. The main reason was that I didn't like those bands anymore, but I've realized there might be another reason. My room has always been a reflection of myself, you can walk into it and know from the start what kind of girl I am, and well, I was tired of looking in my walls and seeing others' life, I wanted to see my own. And so, now I have photographs. Of my childhood or recent ones that I have taken myself. And I have maps, the maps of some of the places I visited during the cruise. And I have drawings of mine, the only poster that survived is an astronomy one I love.
In the cruise I also met a scottish man that was kind enough to let me know how wonderful he thought I was. On the day of the gala dinner I was wearing a dress that belonged to my mom, a pair of high heels and semi-straight-blow-dried-in-two-minutes hair, and I felt like drowning. So what did I do? I finished eating, I went up to my room, tied my hair up, left the heels in a corner, took my camera and went out to take some pictures. While I was on my quest for the perfect picture of the hall, he came out of a door, was really friendly. He asked me whether I was french, because I had a really lovely french accent, and I answered I wished I were. Later on we met again on a staircase and he asked me if I would like him to take me a picture. I obviously said no, but he insisted. He said I looked really beautiful just like I was dressing in that exact moment. I still have those pictures he took, which are frankly horrible, but I have them as a symbol of the fact that that not everyone sees the good things in me doesn't make them nonexistent. I also met a nice girl from A Coruña called Carmen who was nuts, and an interesting waiter. And well, it all just made me more like myself again. So thank you, world, for putting that on my way. Thanks, really.