New favorite song

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Ideal is overrated

I discovered something, something that's helped me to judge my life from a different point of view. I realized I only focused on what I didn't have, on the few things I didn't have, and I didn't appreciate what I did posses. That was unfair. For me and for the ones who are always there for me. I realized I have all the rights to an amazing life, and that I already had it, I just didn't know. I have wonderful friends, a growing beautiful family. I thought all I needed to be happy was to find the love of my life, but now I know I'm just fourteen years old. I have all my life ahead. I gotta be happy. They say love is like a lost object, if you try too hard to find it it won't appear, but if you momentarily forget about it it'll show up in the most unexpected way. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm a beautiful person, just like everybody else. I'm not talking about having a pretty face and a stunning body. I'm talking about inner beauty. Since I've matured, my life is so much more gorgeous. Life is beautiful. Enjoy it. Live it.

Pretty messed up, again

I don't understand myself. I feel alone, like no one understands me, like no one will ever love me, but I still don't want to change. Why? Because this is me. Whether people like it or not. I was born this way. This is who I am. I actually like to be me. I don't like myself but I wouldn't want to be anyone but me. I am shy, insecure, sometimes childish and selfish, weird, bipolar, crazy and confused. But I still wouldn't want to exchange lifes with nobody. My mom, my bff, my future bro/sis, my stepfather, my other friends, my life. They're mine. No matter how much life sucks right now, nothing lasts forever. Not even bad things. I have faith in that someday I'll get somewhere and feel I belong in that place. I don't know if I'm making sense, but until that moment all I can do is keep on living, or just existing.