Awesome. More than awesome, awful.

I met some awesome people last saturday. They are the most amazing people I've talked to in quite a long while. But I'm so damn asshole than even after meeting a ton of new guys and girls who will hopefully become my friends, I still feel wrong. Today I wanted to cut again, but I had to respect my butterfly. My best friend drew it for me. Though it's already vanishing. Why can't I be happy when I've got no reasons to feel sad? I can't understand my damn brain. Two guys have been flirting with me. I don't like none of them, but still I feel flattered. Isn't that a good reason to feel good? To feel fucking great?
Moral of the story, no matter what happens, you'll never feel okay. Don't try to change the tears for smiles, in the end they all fade away. 

Hypophrenia: a feeling of sadness seemingly without a cause.