I need you close, but also missing.

This is an everything or nothing case. Either we get along, we are good friends or something more, or nothing.  I don't want you to become that classmate who I only talk to to ask for dates of exams, and neither I want to become the same to you. I want us to mean something for each other. If that's not possible, I'd rather you to just disappear. I'm gonna give it one last shot. On monday, I'm gonna talk to you, about what's going on. I already told you I would, so there's no hesitating here, I just gotta go. Wish me luck, I'll need it. I'm tired of just sitting waiting for something to happen. It's time to make it happen, or move onto another thing. 

I need you. I fucking need you. But I see you don't need me that much. It hurts, it really does, but hey, life goes on. I just need some help to get back on my feet, like I always do, blow after blow. It's my way of showing life that it's dealing with a not-that-easy to break teenager. Here's a tough stone for the winding wind. I'm not that simple to erode, but once I am it just makes me a little beautifuler. A little wiser. Older. I hope you're not a blow, but a caress. But I know it's kinda impossible.