That's all I needed.

I'm starting to suspect I have a bipolar disorder. I know it's stupid to try to diagnose myself, but I've been reading about it, and my attitude coincides with many of the symptoms. On wednesday I'm visiting my psychologist and I'm asking her if there's the slightest possibility of me being bipolar.
I thought it was idiotic to even think I might have a BD, because M (my psychologist) would have noticed, but then I read it can go unnoticed for over ten years. I'll pray for my suspicions to be wrong, I wouldn't like to be accurate this time.
At first I thought I was depressed, but I can go from being extremely sad - enough to self harm, even to think about suicide - to an euphoric mood in a matter of days. So depression was discarded. Afterwards I thought of a BPD, because of the self harming, but I didn't coincide with the symptoms. Later I came across the idea of bipolarity, I dig out a bit deeper and what do I find? Oh God, I hope I'm wrong. This has to be wrong. First anorexia and now this? No. It's impossible. What the hell have I done to deserve all of this shit? My mind is all fucked up. This is wrong. I must be wrong.